Christmas is over.. let the diets begin

Before I go any further, heres a tip for you all:

If you have to get up for work at 7.45am and want to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (I assume this tip will mostly apply to squirrels) then its best not to stay up playing Spyro the Dragon 2 on your ancient Playstation till 3am in an attempt to recapture your lost youth. If you decide to ignore this handy tip then it may (i.e. will) lead to bouts of grumpiness and irritability.

Ladysazz: Doing the nerdy things so you dont have to!

So.. I'm no closer to deciding what my resolutions should be. I quite like Emma's idea of resolving to help people with their resolutions - except people rarely want my help when they realise what a shambles my life is.

I'm considering pinching Nic's idea of resolving to 'live the dream' cos thats what it's all about isnt it? But blatent plagerism isn't really my thang unless people don't know about it. Then it's ok.

Therefore I'm veering towards something under the umbrella of 'doing the things I've always wanted to do and never done' which would include:

- go to see a play/the ballet/the opera.

Mostly so I can arrange an appropriate outfit for each occasion. Chloe espeically knows how me likes to arrange outfits (e.g. the infamous 'look' on the way to Amsterdam where I wore my 'struggling actor on the way to an audition for a part in the chorus line of Oliver' outfit, or the 'prom queen who escapes out the toilet window to go smoke and make out with her biker boyfriend Chad' outfit that I wore to Lisa's birthday party a couple years back).

- Learn to play the drums

The AWESOME drumsticks-that-make-their-own-noises that I got for Christmas have made the World's Greatest Air Drummer 2002/2003/2004/2005 (self-proclaimed) want to become the Worlds Greatest REAL LIVE DRUMSET Drummer. Could 2006 be the year that I 'light up the sky like a flame' (as Irene Cara once sang) with my drumming talents?

- Write a sitcom

Sort of been doing this since the summer but then got distracted by something shiny and forgot about it. All the plotlines and characters are walking around in my head but I think I need a writing partner (applicants can apply to the usual address with an SAE) to really get this done as I have no self-motivation

Side Note: It took me until I was 15 to realise that a SAE was a Stamped Addressed Envelope. I never entered any of the competitions on Going Live or Live and Kicking or The Broom Cupboard cos I thought there was some badge of cool known as a SAE that everyone knew about except me. I also spelt 'cheddar' as 'chedder' until I was 21.

While I mull this over I'm going to review 2005:

BEST...

• ... Idea = Starting a blog! I love it!
• ... Band = Gah... thats a toughy.. I'll say... Maximo Park
• ... Purchase = Geek Chic Glasses. Ones that actually fit and are sturdy and don't break! Yay.
• ... Present = Sabrina the Teenage Witch magnet set (as courtesy of Chloe)
• ... Gig = I havent been to as nearly many gigs as I would like to have done this year but I'll say The Kooks at Southampton Uni
• ... Website discovered = For stalking potential www.myspace.com (go to www.myspace.com/ladysazzland to see David Cassidy pics) / For new music fun www.pitchforkmedia.com
• ... Place = San Francisco
• ... TV Show = The Gilmore Girls (all my family are unnaturally obsessed)
• ... Lesson Learned = If a guy isn't that bothered about you, you shouldnt bother about him. Thanks Rich!

WORST...

• ... Idea = Hmm... I don't really want to say but I will say it involved a man, lots of alcohol and then having to learn some pretty nifty avoidance techniques in the weeks after. I've said too much.
• ... Band = Not a 'band' per se but James 'Rhymes with Blunt' wassisface made me want to shoot myself in the head. Also Black Eyed Peas for 'the song I will not name': simultaeously managing to create the most infuriatingly catchy yet unlistenable song in the world would be bad enough without putting the feminist movement back by around 30 years.
• ... Purchase = Weighing scales. I turned into one of those weigh-before-and-after-every-meal-morning-noon-and-night types and drove myself mental. Especially as I don't think they were very accurate (well, I don't know many people that can put on a stone in a day and lose it by the following morning). Luckily, every obsession I have doesnt last for long.
• ... Present = A gold watch. I know I shouldn't be ungrateful but a GOLD watch. I have never worn gold jewellry in MY ENTIRE LIFE nor can I read analogue time. What am I going to do with a GOLD WATCH?!
• ... Gig = Some dreadful amater 'goth' outfit in a pub somewhere. It was that good I can neither remember the name of the band nor the place I saw them.
• ... Place = Fareham. Also Known As 'The Dullest Place on Earth'
• ... TV Show = Big Brother. I didn't even start watching it to be honest but from what I saw on other tv shows/heard about/was forced to discuss they were ALL horrible horrrible people. Reality TV is dead. Bring on proper TV like John Simm as a time travelling detective and the new new Doctor Who (who I think slightly - ever so slightly - resembles The Hammond. Wilt.)
• ... Lesson Learned = Well, I don't think you can have a bad 'lesson learned' as every mistake is useful so... maybe just forget I said anything.

THE FUTURE

So what's it going to be like in 2006? Well I feel fairly confident to inform you (not being an official prophet but blessed with 'the gift') that we are all going to live in space. The space world we inhabit will have tubes that you are able travel to any part of the space kingdom through. Everyone will have a robot maid. Everyone will have a family comprising of a Dad, Mum, and two children - an eldest daughter who is obviously very slutty and a younger son who is nerdy and will probably grow up to be a homosexual. No-one in said family unit will discuss this. The Dad will work at a large factory/company probably called something like Spacely's Sprokets and will have an embarrassing misunderstanding that leads to hilarious consequences with his boss every week. The Mum will stay at home to 'look after the kids'. Everything will be done by robots and/or the touch of a button. The world in 2006 will, in many ways, resemble early-1960's America (pre-sexual revolution) including the politics and social hierachies. I know this becasue I saw it all in a dream. I may or may not have been watching The Jetsons before I had that dream but this is neither here nor there.

What I'm most excited about is that its only 9 years till the hoverboard is invented! Yay!

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*EDIT*

Best Present(s): Present = Sabrina the Teenage Witch magnet set (as courtesy of Chloe) and AN AWESOMLY AWESOMAZING PINK McFly clock. God bless Ebay.