I'm ok being unimpressive, I sleep better that way

I'm off to Californ-i-a tomorrow! 'w00t' or 'book' as the trendy youngsters are saying nowadays.

I shall be spending a week in San Francisco where I lived for a bit when I was little. The only thing I can remember is being in an earthquake, which quite literally rocked. HAHAHA! do you see what I did there? Sometimes I surprise even myself with my comedy skills!

Ahem.

Then I'll be moving on to L.A. where I expect Zach Braff will see me buying a tall skinny Chai Tea Latte in Starbucks and ask me to move in with him. Maybe.Of course, my time in L.A. will give me a chance to recruit some of the contestants for Kes's Celebrity Crushes gameshow (where her celeb crushes have to battle it out each week to win her affections). It's in the pre-preprodcution stages at the mo but I'm fairly certain it's going to be a big hit. You may be wondering why it's not Sazz's Celebrity Crushes. 'Why isn't going to be Sazz's Celeb Crushes' I hear you cry. Well I'm, quite frankly, not as likeable as Kes. Perhaps she can draw the viewers in for the first season and then once they're hooked we will hit them with me in the second season. I need to think about this a bit more.

Then, its off to Noo York where I will eat Bagels and embarrass myself and the people I am with by talking in a bad NY accent and throwing as much Yiddish as I know into the conversation (which mostly consists of 'schmuck' and 'mensch' and err... ). I'm sure to fit right in.

Anyhoo, that's a long and boring way of saying I won't be here for a while. TRY NOT TO CRY WITHOUT ME. I have to pack now. Wish me luck, a couple of days spent in Cardiff and a weekend in Amsterdam recently required full suitcases on both occasions. How am I going to restain myself to not take my whole wardrobe for 3 weeks spent away? I don't think a career as a travelling minstrel would last very long as I would have to employ a multitude of lackeys to carry all my stuff around, the overheads would get too big and the whole project would be doomed from the get-go. At least that means I can cross another potential career off the list. Now it's down to 63. Hoorah!