The trouble with Children In Need - and any of these telethons - is that you have to sit through literally HOURS of literal shit to get to the stuff that holds any interest (for instance, Doctor Who specials and whatnot). Then, cos you have an extremely short attention span for people saying 'give me money' yaddayaddayadda 'Mosely Bridge Players raised £13.28' blah blah blah, you lose the will to carry on watching and give up during minute 6 of the show opening. Even with the Woganator presenting.
Now, I know it's all very worthy, etc, and so on, but JEEZ - can't they put all the bits people want to see on BBC1 and then have all the boring stoufe on one of the digital channels? Theres a BAZILLION different channels now. In fact the bizarro world-Me would love to watch Mary talking about how hard her life is and wacky Tim talking about how he raised £37.56 playing badmington in a Pudsey suit for 12 days straight while drinking sparkling mineral water, eating celery and gazing at her singed photo of Chris Moyles. Ahh Bizarro World Me - you are crazy!
I guess all I'm saying is: I don't like boring things. Is that so wrong? Don't answer that. It was rhetorical which in layman's terms means: I don't care what you think. Anyhoo, I was quite pleased with myself this week. My supervisor was off sick so I had to be all grown up and handle things ON MY OWN and managed to resist the very powerful urge to spend my days curled up on the floor in a little ball rocking gently backward and forward and laughing quietly, but manically, to myself when the pressure got too much. This, for me, is the sort of thing I call an achievement. My other main work-based achievement was to persuade my boss to start calling me 'Bunny' (as in the infamous 'Bunny Diamond P.I). We decided that, although someone with the nickname Bunny is unlikely to be taken seriously as a high-powered young go-getter; on the flip side you could never, in good conscience, yell at someone called Bunny so if anything goes wrong I'll be put in front of the firing line in the hope I'm too darn cute to get in trouble. Actually.. on second thoughts... I'm not sure if I'm getting the best deal out of this.
I love the new Old El Paso adverts. Have you seen them. The twunty dude is cooking for his girlfriends family and in each instance *sniggers*... he makes a right ol' cock of himself!! But everyone's happy cos he's cooked!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! *wipes tear* *thinks about the adverts again* BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *makes little 'winding down after laughing loads' sigh*. *sniffs*. *feels embarrassed*.
I honestly do find them funny. Thats the worst thing. Whenever I hear a (admittedly vaguely racist) Mexican impersonation I can't help cracking up. It's just like all those Orange adverts at the cinema about, you know, turning off your mobiles so as not to ruin the film while at the same time advertising the latest and greatest deals from a phone company (DO YOU SEE ALANIS MORRISETTE?!?!?! THATS IRONY!!! NOT SHITE ABOUT TOO MANY SPOONS AND NO KNIFES!! Actually is it? Hang on... Irony is where the actual reality is opposite from the literal reality. I don't think that is irony. Never mind. Irony is confusing.) and you sort of know its wrong to find it funny but you can't help smirking anyway and then someone genuinely DOES laugh and you hate them because they've obviously got a rubbish sense of humour? Yeah, well, thats never happened to me! Hell no. But I've heard about it happening to a friend of a friend and.. yes.. well... *cough*
Ooh Don't Look Now is on. Donald's got a cracking moustache in this. What other films can I watch with moustaches (barring 70's porn)? I would quite like to throw a snazzy moustache-themed movie night. This may turn out to be an obsession to rival my Lindsey Lohan crush and my Joe Mangel worship. Only time will tell.
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