How people find my blog

Here are some of the recent Google searches people have done that have lead them to this blog. I really wish they had left their details:

- 'why have simon and miquita left popworld?'

Sadly I do not have the answer to the question that has been on the minds of many recently (although there might be some help here). It may be the most shallow thing I've ever said but even though I missed Simon and Miquita more than anything, seeing a half naked Alex Zane this Saturday morning was NO BAD THING. And I really liked Alexa's cardi. Give me cute skinny boys in their pants and a nice lady wearing a lovely cardi and I'm all yours.

- 'girls aloud papparazzi shots'

Buying Heat magazine would have been more helpful I think (if they were after shots where GA looked too skinny/ too fat/ their shoes were too small etc etc). I would strongly suggest just buying Heat to anyone anyway if only to experience the warm, somewhat comfortable sensation of your brain dribbling out through your ears. Ahh luvverly.

- 'printout nickelodeon pranks'

What does that even mean? How unimaginative do you have to be if you require:

a) 'pranks' from a television station that gave the world Kenan and Kel? (although they also gave us Sabrina the Teenage Witch so I can probably forgive the K&K thing)

b) a 'printout' of said pranks? I really don't think it's going to be *that* complicated that you would need written instructions to carry around with you. Would you? Really?

- 'richard hammond fan fiction'

I think fate has handed me the perfect 'short'(HA!)-story subject on a platter. If anyone here is aware of 'bandslashfiction' (where indie girls write homoerotic love stories about their favourite indie heros) there is probably a whole wealth of novella ideas to be plundered involving Car Show TV presenters. Obviosly The May would be involved, and his lovely feathered mullet-esque hairdo would feature heavily also. See, this shit is going to write itself. On a similar note, last time I googled myself (SHUT UP! YOU'VE ALL DONE IT) the only 'Sarah Mulholland' that I could find (who wasnt dead) wrote fan fiction for 'Caroline In The City'. I swear to little baby Jesus that it wasnt actually me.

- 'kfc hedgehog advert'

I'm normally terrified when adults dress up as animals but for this ad I made a generous 'exception to prove the rule'.

- 'chuckle brothers spit roast'

Sweet god in heaven why? Actually, on second thoughts - my brain doesnt wish to know that (or have the accompanying mental images). But really, as far as sick and twisted things go... thats pretty high up there. Even by my standards