- if you leave your house more than once a week and INTERACT with other people you actually have more to talk about than the characters on the, now defunct, mid 1990's teen drama 'My So-Called Life' that you may have downloaded in a fit of 'remember when plaid and baggy clothes were fashionable?' nostalgia. [see also - Clarissa Explains It All, Blossom]
It shocks and astounds you doesnt it? In much the same way that you felt after finding out Geoffrey from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air 'fame' was now 'starring' in Eastenders. "Really? No! But... Oh wow! It's true!"*
Now, having said all that, this evening I've actually missed out on leaving the house and getting the chance to see LIVE! IN THE FLESH! SCREECH FROM SAVED BY THE BELL! ALIVE! IN MY UNION! (Sorry, I had the volume on this turned up. Sorted now.) to do dog sitting instead. Yes. Screech. From Saved By The Bell 'fame'. As fabulous as it would have been to be in the same room as him while he stood on a stage feeling quite visibly uncomfortable/coked-up-to-
Despite me missing out on the Screech 'experience' here are some fun facts and figures about him that you can read about and share with your friends/acquaintences for nostalgia-based-conversati
- His real name is Dustin Diamond. If you meet him why not refer to him as "Mr Double D's"? Not only would this nickname be factually accurate (unlike, for instance, my new nickname 'Pooky') but it is also an amusing way to refer to a ladies bosom. And who doesn't want to get the image of Screech and voluptuous breasts inexplicably linked in their minds?
- He has featured in the David Spade vehicle "Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star" which I have watched from beginning to end. (I make no apologies for the way I choose to live my life). (I just spend an inordinate amount of time crying about it). Verdict - not as good as "Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit" but better than "Deuce Bigalo: Male Gigalo" from the 'films with colon's to seperate title from sub-title' genre.
- He has been declared bankrupt. I have no real opinion on this and it's just broad speculation anyway. I don't even know for certain that it is a 'fact' as such. I could look it up. I'm not going to.
- He has a really big penis (according to a Howard Stern show transcript I was lucky enough to read. I also found out that Fez from That 70s Show is similarly endowed from the same source).
- He was brought in to Saved by the Bell: The New Class to try and improve ratings but for some reason felt compelled to speak in a very odd voice and gurn a lot thus reducing much of the 'geeky charm' (read: subtle mental disorder) that had made the character of Screech such a winner in the first place. Plus the undertones of a homoerotic relationship between himself and Mr Belding made me slightly uncomfortable.
Evidence: Wasnt he like, Mr Beldings 'assistant'? Had Mr Belding ever had an assistant before? If he really genuinely required an assistant would he really have hired someone who, not only wore jazzy shirts, mismatching slacks and colourful braces, but was also way over-qualified for the job in the first place? (he had a degree! he was a nerd! he was named validictorian of his graduating high school class but gave up the title to Jesse Spano as it meant more to her! this isn't someone that was on track to being a principal's assistant in the very high school where all these things happened originally) Added to that, even if you can get past the unlikely hiring situation, he was consistantly incompetant in the job role so would have almost immediately been fired anyway. That is unless Mr Belding was sleeping with Screech or Screech's mother. Think about it. I know I do. Constantly.
*Please Note: If you are the sort of person that speaks in sentences that only end with exclamation points then I kind of hate you and wish you would die.**
** I realise this is a bit rich coming from someone who uses 'quotation marks' to place 'empathsis' on more 'words' than she really 'should'.
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