Friday 26 January 2007

Women want me, fish fear me

So said a bumper sticker I saw on the back of a van whilst wandering into uni yesterday.

Let's examine this a bit closer shall we?

Women [Ok, yep, with you. The gender that isn't 'men']
Want [Right. Women want... a lot of things I should imagine. Be interesting to see where you're going with this Mr Bumper Sticker]
Me [Huh. Are you... are you sure? I'm rarely attracted to men that have bumper stickers making such bold proclamations but fine, I understand the qualities that attract me to a man are not neccessarily the same as what everyone else goes for]
Fish [The species of animal. I believe I'm familiar with them]
Fear [The emotion I feel when a pigeon is in a five yard radius to me. Yes, I'm familiar with this also. I'm not entirely certain how impressive it is to be able to strike fear into a fish but for the sake of argument let's roll with this for a bit]
Me [You've lost me].

I don't even... am I missing something? I just... I don't...

Women want me,
Fish fear me.

What?

Let us disregard the fact that it's possibly slightly delusional to think that an entire species of animal is terrified of you personally*. Instead, I have to ask: Is one statement here influenced by the other? If you are popular with the ladies do fish start jumping out of their tanks upon your approach in a deluded effort to flee the scene? Or is it that the 'womens' these days love nothing more than getting a piece of action from the infamous fish frightener?

I DONT GET IT.

However, it is nice to know where you stand with people isn't it? Saves on small talk and the like. We should all just start wearing badges/have bumper stickers that give the world two interesting facts about ourselves.

Mine will say:
'Babies are hypnotised by my face,
Pigeons are out to destroy me'*

Make of that what you will.

*Of course thinking that an entire species of animal is out to DESTROY you? That's perfectly sane and normal.

2 comments:

KarmaKazee86 said...

I believe it might have to do with penis size. Women want it, and when he skin dips it scares the fish.

KarmaKazee86 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.