So I'm back. I'm still a bit 'wacked out' from jet lag. I have spent the last 24 hours asleep with brief interuptions of waking dreams/hallucinations which has been at least three bags of fun.
I'll give you all a few excerpts from my journal but I'll try not to bore you all silly. I'm well aware that travellin' folks tend to write stuff like 'and then I went here, and then I did this and then I met him' which I'm sure was very interesting for the person who did those things at the time but for everyone that wasn't there is intensly boring. On a similar theme I saw someone videoing their family coming down the escaltors at Universal Studios. Who on god's green earth will want to watch that in years to come? What if aliens land and they find that piece of video tape? There'll be no chance of them sticking around to impart any great wisdom they may have to give us. 'what a BORING bunch of creatures, let's go to alpha centurion and do some alien type things'. It could happen. (It won't).
Plane Ride
1. Best thing about plane ride to San Francisco:
Getting to watch 2 episodes of Top Gear featuring the lovely Richard Hammond.
2. Worst thing about plane ride to San Francisco:
My hair going stat-o-matic. It seems that altititude + recyclyed air + naturally frizzy hair = trouble.
San Fran
1. First Impressions of San Francisco:
Sunny but nippy. Very colourful buildings. Not as many hippy's as I had hoped for. The hotel is decorated in a very cool art deco kinda way with lots of prints of 20's paintings. Food portions are HUGE, I had a taco salad at IHOP and ate like a 1/4 of it. It was the size of a new born baby.
2. May have spotted Dave Eggers may have been just a man:
I only know him from the little photo he has in his books and his old Guardian column. It would have been cool if it was him, but it probably wasn't.
3. Muir Woods which has lots of Redwoods:
A park ranger said 'the trees are both male and female which fits in with the lifestyle of the bay area'. Funny if a little bigoted? Can't decide.
4. Rufus Wainwright quotes are on Starbucks cups:
And I got called 'Sir' by one of the Starbucks counter ladies.
5. 'Splashy' Sea Lions:
Pier 39 in San Fran is where all the rocking sea lions hang out. They are fat and grunmpy and hugable. I had a favourite that was sat on her own and when the others started barking she told them all to shut up and they did. I think that's what she was saying. My sea-lionese is a little rusty.
6. San Francisico City Tour:
The tour guide said that in the Wild West they didn't have any doctors. I think he may well be forgetting one important person - Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman.
7. Akuna Matata:
Waiting for the F-line tram after an evening in 'downtown' San Fran a car full of young men pulled up next to where we were standing while the traffic lights were red. Windows down, stereo blasting. What were they listening to I hear you ask? Why, isn't that obvious? It was Akuna Matata, the Timon and Pumba song from The Lion King. Yes, of course they were singing along loudly. It'd have been weird if they weren't.
8. Crooked Street:
Nearly died climbing the two blocks to get there (which have been kindly engineered to be at a 45o angle. Stupid hills). Still it was worth it to see the place where fabulous films such as 'What's up Doc?' (a classic movie of the screwball comedy genre featuring Barbara Streisand and Ryan O'Neal) and 'The Princess Diaries' (a classic movie of the teen 'comedy' genre featuring Anne Hathaway and Mary Poppins) have been filmed. I'm only half joking about this been exciting for me.
9. Yosemite National Park:
It was well worth the year and half that it took getting there (that may be a slight exaggeration). It was truely astounding, it kicks the Lake District's ass. I didn't get to see any brown bears but I did see lots of hairy rugged men which is even better as far as I'm concerned.
10. Bay Cruise:
Went under the Golden Gate bridge just as a seagull started to hover over my head. Anyone who knows me is well aware of my fear of pigeons. Times that by ten for seagulls. Damn seagulls. Saw 'The Rock' though. By that I mean Alcatraz, not the ex-wrestler who did a song with Wyclef.
Los Angeles
1. Hollywood:
It felt amazing just being there and seeing where all the movies are made but it wasn't at all glamorous. If anything it was a bit mingey really. I wouldn't make a special trip to go back there but it was cool just saying you've done it.
2. Sister Act:
Our hotel is just up the road from where Sister Act was filmed. I think I may die of happiness.
3. Studio Audience:
I was in the studio audience for The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. 'Who?' you ask. He was the boss in The Drew Carey Show! 'The Drew Carey what?' Never mind, it's a sitcom. You know how I like my sitcoms. He was also in a film called The Big Tease, he was a hairdresser or something. 'Never saw it'. Oh jeez, ok well anyway it's a chat show and they had Eddie Izzard and Dominic Monahan on as guests! I was very excited as I had a BIG crush on Mr Izzard when I was 17. He is really short. I always thought he was tall and burly but he's not. Weird.
4. Universal Studios:
Ron Howard followed us around all day. Seriously, he talks to you on the Studio Lot tour and on the Backdraft ride and, and... well, that was it but still. It was a bit freaky. I used to have no strong feelings for Ron Howard but now I hate him. If I never see him again it'll be too soon. Except for when watching Happy Days. Obviously.
5. Mel's Drive In:
Apparently it's a 'Celebrity Bar' but looked more like a classic 50's diner to me. I think I saw Jack Osbourne, (so it's definately not a celebrity bar then). (ba-da-boom-tish). You'll never guess whose picture was on the menu's (just a small one in the corner but it counts), yes, that Ron freakin' Howard. I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again HOWARD!
6. Storm from X-Men:
There are loads of people who dress up as movie characters outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre. One of these was Storm, she had a lot more cellulite than I remember her having in the film.
7. Venice Beach:
They had proper Mitch from Baywatch red shorts and red floating things and little huts! Wowzer. There were four surfer boys we came across who were surely parodies of themselves; 'Dude, you should see Cosman's seriously gnarly home video of sharks! Totally rad!' etc etc
8. Steve Carrel (aka Brick Tamland):
He's in a new movie called The 40-Year-Old Virgin about, err.. a 40-Year-Old Virgin I presume. His smiling golden face gives me a warm glow inside.
9. Radio Station:
Found the coolest radio station which plays 'good good good, good time oldies' (sung to the tune of Good Vibrations). It has a heavy rotation of Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin and Neil Diamond so it's alright by me. Did you know Neil is some sort of white witch and puts magic in his songs? That's why you always feel good after listening to them. That's true because someone told me it.
10. Star Tours:
Went on a super tacky tour of all the star's homes. I saw the Fresh Prince of Bel Air's house! You know, where he pulled up to the house about seven or eight and yelled to cabbie yo hommie smell you later. And where you saw Jazzy Jeff getting the ol' heave-ho! It's really in Bel Air folks (though the tour guide said the actual show was filmed elsewhere but I refuse to believe that). I also saw Neil Diamond's house, woop! AND I saw Colin Farrell eating lunch in a posh restaurant. I think.
New York
I have a confession I didn't get a chance to write much in New York because there was so much to see and do and I was knackered every time I got back to hotel (the 3 hour time diffference from Californai slayed me, yet I wasn't affected in the other direction) but highlights included:
- The Statue of Liberty, which was bigger than I thought.
- Ground Zero which was really sad and kind of eerie. Its just a construction site at the moment but everyone around it was really quiet and respectful. It feels like a tragic place. I was surprised by how affected I was and how much the images of what happened are imprinted on my brain.
- The Empire State building which has incredible views and the city and beyond.
- Central Park which is MASSIVE. You don't feel like you are in the middle of a big city until you get to one of the edges and see skyscrapers
- Bloomingdales and Macys are the department stores of my dreams! I preferred the littler (cheaper) shops in Greenwich Village though.
All in all, it's amazing. I want to live there and be a writer and eat bagels all day. Walked half of Manhatten island in one day. As it was my first time in New York I think that was the best way of doing it cos you get a real feel for the city. It's so clean and felt much safer than London.
The Aftermath
I'm definately going back to San Fran and NY one day. It's made me determined to do the American road trip I've always talked about but instead of having just a pipe dream now it's something I'm actively going to plan for, probably for when I finish my degree. However, it's nice to be home. I missed crumpets and tea and my dogs.
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