Firstly, I have to admit that I am very attracted to Steve Carell's character in Little Miss Sunshine. He's suicidely depressed and gay. I think that says more about who I am than any questionnaire ever will. Even one that asks about your Oreo consumption.
It's fresher's week. They are everywhere. All clutching dog eared maps (how do maps always get so mangled after only holding them for five minutes. Maybe it's just the ones that I am given to 'look after' as I end up picking my teeth and/or nails with the corners and not folding them properly and managing to drop any food or liquid that happens to come within a 2 metre radius onto them. Helpful Hint of the Day #1: Don't ever let me hold any important pieces of paper)... but anyway, when I think of maps I think of smudged, torn, crumpled pieces of paper. The maps the freshers are holding might not be in that state - it's difficult to tell as you are walking past as quickly as possible hoping, wishing, praying no-one asks you directions - but that's what I see in my mind's eye.
Where was I? Oh yes, freshers... they also all look like they just fell out of the best/worst dressed pages of Heat (ankle boots are not everyones friend) as Surrey Uni has a higher than normal count of females. And of those females it has a higher than normal count of females that look like they could be extras in Hollyoaks. Every guy on my course managed to 'trade up' quite considerably due to this interesting ratio. Helpful Hint of the Day #2: Dudes, if you want to get laid by a Chantelle-a-like then head on down to the University of Surrey campus - where the girls are skinny, blonde and probably not all that bright! (Why this line isn't included in the University brochure I have no idea).
I can, for the most part, float through the campus without all these shrieking, happy, overly coiffed 18-year-olds causing me too much grief or reawkening too many body issues but I fear they will be inflitrating all the places where the coffee is and possibly impeding my attempts to buy the coffee from the coffee places. It is only then that I start to really freak out and curse them all to hell.
Elsewhere I have noticed that there seems to be more and more sweater vests appearing on the hip young man-things of late. I guess the sweater vest does offer the best for this sort of weather; humid yet with rain threatening to hit any second. It makes me feel like I'm walking around a John Hughes movie set. Now I just have to find someone that looks and acts exactly like Jon Cryer and I'll be pretty much set for life.
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